To Change or not to Change

My name that is. There has definitely been many articles and posts by other bloggers read about why or why not they are/are not changing their names. In the beginning, as in before I started planning this wedding, I always thought it was an easy choice for a wife to take her husband’s last name. Boy was I naive.

I did grow up with a mother and father with the same last name even though my parents ended their marriage when I was 5. I know that my mom kept my father’s name because she formed a work identity with that name and because my sister and I were still young and having a different last name could have potentially caused problems.

I know that I want to take Mr. ATC’s name for many reasons. We have been living together for about 2 years so taking his name when we get married will make things feel more official. We will also form a family. Our family. Just the two of us. And the idea of having the same name gives me little butterflies and heart palpitations. I guess that’s because as a little girl I always imagined getting married and taking my husband’s name, which is more socially acceptable. Not that I have a problem with women who choose not to take their husband’s last name. I know there are many reasons and factors that go into this decision.

I will definitely miss my current/maiden name. I am attached to it, but this attachment isn’t deep and will not stop me from changing my name. My father is an only child and he had two daughters. Therefore, he has no one to carry on his family’s name. This makes me somewhat sad because his name has meaning and heritage. Both of his parent’s were Scottish and therefore, his (my) name is Scottish. The idea of letting the name die slightly saddens me, but I am taking another anglophile name since Mr. ATC is Irish and British.

So because I have been thinking about this lately. I came up with a little compromise. If/ when we have a son, I would like to make his middle name my current/maiden name. Luckily, my current last name is a normal boys name. In fact, I went to high school with a kid whose first name was the same as my last name. That was interesting in classes.

Anyway, this plan makes me happy. Are you taking your husband’s name or not? If you are/did, did you come up with a compromise to keep a portion of your family in your life?

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So after I wrote this I asked Mr. ATC how he would feel if I didn’t take his name. “pissed” was his exact response. I probed more but really got nothing else. So I’m guessing he wants me to take his name :)